{"id":26509,"date":"2026-09-01T06:02:50","date_gmt":"2026-09-01T06:02:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.baptists.net\/history\/?p=26509"},"modified":"2026-09-02T12:50:24","modified_gmt":"2026-09-02T12:50:24","slug":"the-apostles-difficulty-and-desires","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.baptists.net\/history\/2026\/09\/the-apostles-difficulty-and-desires\/","title":{"rendered":"The Apostle\u2019s Difficulty And Desires"},"content":{"rendered":"

Notes Of A Sermon Preached At Enon, Woolwich, Sunday Evening, June 17th<\/sup>, 1894, On The Occasion Of The Death Of Mr. W. K. Squirrell<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cFor I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ, which is far better.\u201d\u2014Philippians 1:23<\/em><\/p>\n

When the apostle wrote this epistle he expected to die, for he was a prisoner at Rome, and hardly expected to come out of prison. But he speaks of death in a calm way, as only a Christian can. The Christian has no need to fear death, though he often does. The apostle speaks of it as a departure ready to be taken up; but he leaves the issue to God, knowing that He will make no mistake. It is a blessed thing, not only to be prepared to die, but to die at any time. The apostle felt he could leave the matter in his heavenly Father’s hand. There were various reasons why he should wish to live, and there were various reasons why he should wish to die.<\/p>\n

These were the words which were written by a minister of the Gospel, and our brother Squirrell was a minister of the Gospel; they were spoken by an experienced Christian, our brother was that, though not old in years. The first time I saw him was in Trinity-street, Borough, a large chapel with but a handful of people in it; and I thought what a pity that such an earnest young man should have such a small congregation. Some time after that, when, my business for my employer being finished in London, I had returned to Foot’s Cray, one of the deacons said to me one evening, “We are going to have a Mr. Sqnirrell to preach: do you know him?” I said I had heard him, and thought him a good preacher; and I well remember when he came. He was late, having lost his way in a severe snowstorm that was raging; but from that evening when we first spoke to each other we have never lost sight of one another. When he was at Meopham I was at Orpington, and while he was here at Enon, you knew better about him than I did; but I always found our brother a lovable man.<\/p>\n

Now, let us look at the text, the words of a man of God, and one who feels he is standing near to eternity. (I.) THE APOSTLE\u2019S DIFFICULTY; (II.) THE APOSTLE’S DESIRE; (III.) THE APOSTLE\u2019S DESCRIPTION.<\/p>\n

I.\u2014THE APOSTLE\u2019S DIFFICULTY. “I am in a strait betwixt two.” He desired to die, and yet he was in a difficulty; he did not know what what was the will of his heavenly Father. “I am in n strait to know whether I should die now, or labour on in His service.\u201d He resigned himself into the hands of his God, saying, in the words of his Master, \u201cNot my will, but Thine be done.\u201d It is a blessed state to be in, that though we are in difficulties we feel we are in His hands. He knoweth best what to do; and though it may seem to us so perplexing that God should take away our brother just in the midst of his usefulness, just when he had got a ripened experience, not only to instruct the young believer, but to cheer the saint of God. When I first heard him he had not that experience, that mellowness that he has had since. The last sermon I heard him preach was at Watford; and his text, ‘I have learned by experience.” And I have thought of that much lately, for then he had a firstly, a secondly, a thirdly, but now he has a fourthly, for he has learned by experience what that glory is like that he did not know below. The apostle had a difficulty; he was in a strait. That arose because he had a love to precious souls, a love to the souls of men; and he felt he would like to stop and preach to them; to tell them of a precious Saviour, to tell to his fellow-men what a Saviour he had found. He had a love to souls, and our brother had a love to souls. No minister will be blessed in his work if he has not a love to souls; he may have an elevated mind; a clear knowledge of the Scriptures; but he will never succeed if he has not a love to souls. Paul loved souls, and though he was ready to go to heaven and be with Christ, yet he felt his soul burning with love. And our brother often spoke to me of you, and though away from you, he still had a warm heart for Enon and the people here.<\/p>\n

The apostle was in a strait, because he knew something of the dangers and perils in which the Church was placed. He knew that faithful men were wanted; that wolves were abroad, and would rend the flock of Christ; that there were those who would publish error, and would bring strife and contention, and thus faithful men were wanted. Ah, friends, faithful men are wanted now, when the inspiration of this blessed Book is doubted, and its truths and doctrines are derided: we want men with intrepid hearts and tongues to speak forth the glorious Gospel of the blessed God. Thank God that in our denomination, though we may not have the most learned and cultured minds, we are men who stand firm to the Gospel, and our brother would rather have had his right hand cut off than have given up any of the truths of the Gospel which the Spirit had made known unto him. The apostle felt he could dwell, and live, and abide by the truth; and he felt it was necessary that faithful ministers should remain. And it seems mysterious to us that God should remove faithful men, but He knows best. Then the apostle delighted to preach the Gospel; it was his joy to unfold the unsearchable riches of Christ; it was next door to heaven to speak of God’s love to poor guilty sinners; of Christ’s righteousness as their clothing; of the Holy Spirit sanctifying them, and the joys to which the believer is surely to be brought. Did our brother not delight in this? Yes, he did; and though he had his downcast seasons, so that the deacons have sometimes had to almost force him into the pulpit, yet at others he has almost been in the seventh heaven of delight. Paul loved the work; our dear brother loved the work, he lived in the pulpit, and he delighted to expatiate on the love of Christ. There will be no poor sinners to preach to in heaven; there will be no precious Christ to unfold in heaven, for there all will see Him and know Him well.<\/p>\n

The apostle was in a strait because he was somewhat jealous of his motives. We have thought, Lord, I should like to go to heaven, but what are the motives I want to go for? Is it because I want to leave the earth and its work behind, with all its troubles and cares? Is it because I want to get away from the troubles and worries, from the conflict? Is it a selfish motive that makes me want to go, or an unselfish motive to be with Christ? The apostle found two principles working in his mind. Here is Paul, his soul filled with heavenly breezes carrying him heavenward, but there is an anchor which holds him here. There are two principles which work in the Christian\u2019s breast. There is his family; and if he is a private member, there is his business, who will attend to that? and yet his spirit is filled with heavenly love, and he wants to be gone. He is in a strait.<\/p>\n

II.\u2014THE APOSTLE’S DESIRE. “Having a desire to depart, and be with Christ.” The apostle had no fear of death. Having a desire to depart. Did you ever hear a worldly man say that? No; he will cling to everything here; but the Christian has no fear, for his Lord has gone before him, perfumed the tomb, and made it ready for his body. He had a desire to depart! Why? Because he had tasted some of the joys of that heavenly land. And our brother had some of that experience. We have tasted of the grapes of Eshcol. Oh, friends, we have tasted of those joys! Heaven to us is no myth, no unreality; the Christian has had some foretastes of it, and, like the pilgrim, by faith he has seen the pinnacles of the glorious city. And can you wonder that he who has tasted the joy should want to go where he can quaff the cup? who has had the glory of Christ flooding his soul, he wants to go where there is the fulness. We want to go; so did our brother; and so did the apostle. He believed in the immediate transit of the soul to glory. “Having a desire to be with Christ.” The grave holds the body, that is all: “Absent from the body, present with the Lord.”<\/p>\n

“One gentle sigh their fetter breaks,<\/p>\n

We scarce can say they’re gone,<\/p>\n

Before the willing spirit takes<\/p>\n

Its mansion near the throne.”<\/p>\n

The soul takes its rapid transit from earth to heaven; and our brother, yes, he is now in heaven, his soul is basking in the fulness of his Saviour’s glory. I shall never forget Mr. Marsh coming in to Mr. Ward’s house when we were at Laxfield. ”Isn’t it sad about brother Squirrell? I had a letter yesterday to say he was a little better. Have you heard how he is?” “Yes,” we replied, “he is gone.” “Oh, it can’t be true!” Yes, our brother had gone; but where had he gone? Why, to be with Christ! He who has walked and talked with Jesus here will be with Him. We want to see His face, and tell Him how we loved Him; we tell Him now in broken accents, but we want to tell Him face-to-face. And now our brother is telling Him, fully enjoying fellowship with Jesus.<\/p>\n

To be with Christ is to have perfect knowledge. Our brother had some knowledge of this blessed Book, of the glorious Person and complexity of Jesus, and he loved to speak of them; but now he will say, as did the Queen of Sheba concerning Solomon’s treasures, the half has not been told: what I knew down there, dear Lord, was not half what I know up here; and as he learns more of Him he has more perfect knowledge. We desire to go where He is. Then the apostle believed in present meetness to go to heaven. That is a grand truth of the Gospel. We are justified at once when our sins are pardoned, though sanctification goes on through life. Paul felt he was fit for heaven through the righteousness of Jesus, through the cleansing of His blood; and Christ took him, he was meet. And our brother, though he was a fallible man, a sinful man, was fit to go, for it was through Christ. The apostle felt that to be in heaven was to be in a place of bliss. It is to be with Christ wherever He may be. It is the height of bliss to have His fellowship here and His presence on high. Shall we be with Christ? Will you be with that glorious Saviour, who in Gethsemane sweat, as it were, great drops of blood, and on Calvary hung, and bled and died? If you have not Christ you will be poor. Well might the apostle love to be with Christ.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

III.\u2014THE APOSTLE\u2019S DECLARATION. \u201cIt is far better.\u201d There we shall drink at the Fountain Head.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

”If such the sweetness of the stream,<\/p>\n

What must the Fountain be.<\/p>\n

Where saints and angels draw their bliss<\/p>\n

Immediately from Thee?”<\/p>\n

It is far better to receive our joys from the hands of Christ. To receive them by faith is sweet, but to drink of His blessed fulness, that must be far better. In this chapel I have had happy seasons, heaven on earth but it is not what it will be up there. I want to go to heaven because it is a holy place. It is far better, because realisation is better than expectation. We know we shall go to heaven, but it is only anticipation as yet. And, then, it is far better, because there will be everlasting rest. While we are here we shall have no rest from the devil, from the world, and our own evil hearts. It is better, because here we are not known, though we are princes in disguise. There we shall be with Christ, exchange our poverty for His riches, and we shall be known as He is known. It will be far better in many ways. May we meet our brother in that happy home. Amen.<\/p>\n

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When the apostle wrote this epistle he expected to die, for he was a prisoner at Rome, and hardly expected to come out of prison. But he speaks of death in a calm way, as only a Christian can. The Christian has no need to fear death, though he often does. The apostle speaks of it as a departure ready to be taken up; but he leaves the issue to God, knowing that He will make no mistake. It is a blessed thing, not only to be prepared to die, but to die at any time. The apostle felt he could leave the matter in his heavenly Father’s hand. There were various reasons why he should wish to live, and there were various reasons why he should wish to die.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":180,"featured_media":18681,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_vp_format_video_url":"","_vp_image_focal_point":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[1417],"tags":[1239],"class_list":["post-26509","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-edwin-white","tag-sovereign-grace"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.baptists.net\/history\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26509","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.baptists.net\/history\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.baptists.net\/history\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.baptists.net\/history\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/180"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.baptists.net\/history\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26509"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.baptists.net\/history\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26509\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26510,"href":"https:\/\/www.baptists.net\/history\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26509\/revisions\/26510"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.baptists.net\/history\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18681"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.baptists.net\/history\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26509"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.baptists.net\/history\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26509"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.baptists.net\/history\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26509"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}