The Life And Testimony Of Mrs. Burn

Earthen Vessel 1880:

A Sacred Piece Of Biography: The Life Of One Who Longed And Labored For The Saving Knowledge Of The Lord

A Memoir Of The Late Mrs. Burn, Of Bermondsey.

By Her Children

“Oh, my soul! she beats her wings, and pants to fly away

Up to immortal things, in the heavenly day:

Yet she stays, sometimes she faints—

Can such be meant for me?

‘Come and see,’ saith the saints. Saith Jesus, ‘Come and see;·

Saith the saints, ‘His pleasures please us, before God and the Lamb;·

‘Come in My likeness,’ saith our Jesus, ‘BE WITH ME WHERE I Am.’

23 Southwark Bridge Road, S. E. 

June 6, 1880

Dear Mr. Banks,—I send you an account of my mother’s life and death. She was well known to many of your readers; it might be acceptable to some. I feel a desire to pay this last tribute to her memory for one especial reason, and that is, that she really travailed in spiritual birth for me, until (I hope) Christ was formed in my heart, the hope of glory. She did indeed, too, minister to me in some of my soul’s conflicts, and was a fellow-helper of my joy. I felt a real soul union to my mother that I do not to many. I do believe I know something of the value of my precious soul; but I should not have been afraid (if it had been possible) to put my soul in her soul’s stead, so certain did I feel of her safety. She had (with one little intermission) been earnestly seeking the Lord for just over seventy years. If the character of the Lord Jesus Christ was characterised as “A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief,” she bore a most striking resemblance to her Lord in that respect. It was indeed to her a pathway of sorrow when He was absent, and she had, as you know, much of this experience, though at other times, she drank deeply into the realities of eternal love. Yes, she was firmly grounded and settled, notwithstanding all her doubts and fears, and, when at her lowest, would say,—

“A guilty, weak, and helpless worm.

On Thy kind arms I fall.”

She well knew this to be a safe place to fall, for she had fallen there many times. Ah! she had indeed proved the strength of His kind and everlasting arms. I used to feel that I could so nicely walk side by side with my mother in spiritual things, we were agreed upon so many things. I did love her in the Lord Jesus Christ; yes, that I did.

My sister, Mrs. Pounds, has written what she could of her life in n letter to me. She says:—

MY DEAR BROTHER,—According to your request, I will try to write, as far as the Lord may see fit to bring to my remembrance (for I feel quite dependent upon Him), the account our beloved mother has given us from time to time of the Lord’s work in her heart. Her friends attended Mr. Fletcher’s ministry, of Finsbury, and, at the tender age of six years, the Lord opened her heart to listen to the Word spoken. She attended his Sunday-school at this time, and her own words were: “I felt such a great love to Mr. Fletcher, because he preached so much of the love of Jesus to little children; and as I was a little child, oh, how I did hope He loved me! This caused love to spring up in my heart to Him, but I felt so wicked. Then I tried to pray to Jesus that He would make me like the children I had read of in ‘Janeway’s Tokens;’ and I used to read those parts of Scripture that told of what Jesus did, and how He put His hands on little children and blessed them, and said, ‘Suffer little children to come unto Me, and forbid them not,’ &c. Oh, how I wished I had lived then! and when I read how the Jews crucified Him, that seemed to break my heart; for I felt to love Him so very much. About this time, there was to be ‘The Teachers’ Examination,’ and an address after, by Mr. Fletcher; but the little children were not to go. This troubled me so much that my father said, ‘I will take the child; she shall go;’ and while I was there, Mr. F.’s attention was drawn to me. He took me on his knee, and asked me several questions, which I answered. Then be heard me repeat some portions of ‘The Assembly’s Catechism.’ He seemed very pleased, and said, ‘The Lord Jesus loves little children,’ and gave me a ‘star’ as a reward. This I was much pleased with, and what he said so endeared him to me, that I loved him as much as my father.” She went on for a few years in this way, until Mr. Fletcher (considering he had a call to a Church in Scotland) left London for a time. This was a great trial to her. She feared she should hear no more of Jesus and His love to children. Soon after this, her friends left Albion chapel, and these early impressions seemed to wear off (I do not think that either of her parents feared the Lord); but as she so frequently used to say:—

“Though seed lie buried long in dust,

It shan’t deceive your hope;

The precious grain can ne’er be lost,

For grace ensures the crop.”

From the age of nine or ten, to the age of sixteen, she was left to wander somewhat into the pleasures of the world, and got entangled with the company of a young man whom she loved very much. As she had told him she was fond of religious books, he lent her ”The History of Sumo Gray,” and she told me that the Lord blessed the reading of that book to her soul. From this time she left the world, and never returned to it again—I mean, as to its pleasures. She said, “The sovereignty of God was manifested. I was compelled to give up this young man’s company, although I dearly loved him; for I had now lost all enjoyment for the world and its pleasures. I felt cut off from it entirely. A blight had come over all; what used to be life to me was now death. Poor fellow! I was called; he was left.” She said, “The Lord at this time wrought a deep concern in me for the salvation of my soul, and I began to feel very unhappy. I heartily wished I was like the beasts that perish. I felt, indeed, I was a sinner. I then returned to Mr. Fletcher’s (for he had come hack again). I read and prayed consistantly, still my burden remained. I had such an earnest desire for the salvation of my brother and sister, that I used to take them with me, and, as well as I could, pray for them. I prevailed on them to go to the Sunday-school, and eventually we became teachers; but I felt I needed teaching myself. I wanted to find happiness, but could not; I wanted to be better in myself, and told some of the young people at chapel how I felt. They persuaded me to join the Church, saying they felt better after doing so. I thought, well, perhaps after sitting down to the Lord’s Supper, I should be more holy, for I was greatly troubled at this time with unholy thoughts; but, I thought, suppose all these feelings wear off after this, how awful that would be! Still I hoped to be more holy, so determined in my mind that, if these feelings did not wear off, and my religion would last three months, I would join. I hoped it would last altogether. Well, it appeared to stand the trial, so, at the end of the three months, I went to Mr. Fletcher, and told him my feelings. He asked me a few questions, but, I feared, not enough to the point. However, I was accepted, and so joined the Church. But after partaking of the bread and wine, I felt worse—more unholy than before. I told some of the members this, but they did not seem to understand me at all, excepting one young man in the school, a teacher, and friend of my brother’s, and a visitor. He appeared to understand more about my case than any one else. He frequently came to our house to talk upon religion with my brother. This young man eventually became my husband. I became more and more unhappy, so distressed with bad thoughts. I was almost at my wits’ end, and one morning I believed I had committed the unpardonable sin.’ I was in this dreadful state of mind for some weeks, when something within me said, ‘You have, and you will be in hell by such a time.’ My state of mind now was dreadful indeed. I watched, fully expecting it would be so; but the clock struck the hour, and I was still alive. Oh, what a relief it was to find I was yet spared! Here I gained a little ground, and hoped I had not committed the dreadful sin after all. I remembered we had a Bible with notes. I took this Bible, and searched for the passage, and the ‘note’ opon it said, ‘Those who had committed this sin were in no fear or trouble about it.’ I then saw it to be a suggestion of the enemy, and was delivered from it. Still I had not lost my burden, nor could I get what my soul wanted from Mr. F.’s preaching.”

Now begun a most blessed change in the state of her mind. At this time she was employed as waistcoat-maker at St. Paul’s-churchyard, and when she took her work home, frequently the proprietor would keep her waiting for hours, unnecessarily. This used to distress her very much indeed, for she did not then feel able to ask help of the Lord for temporal things (or small things, as she called them), supposing He was too great a God to stoop to such little matters. She was not then aware of the fact that her “life’s minutest circumstnnce was governed by His eye.” However, she was waiting for her work, and, as usual, the gentleman said,” Your’s is not ready; you must wait,” and went on attending to the others. She felt this to be very unkind, but went out to walk about until it was ready. The Lord, however, overruled the circumstance for her good. As she was walking, her eyes were directed to a window where there was a bill, announcing that a Mr. Irons would preach at Jewin-crescent. She said to herself: “I will go and hear him.” She went, and found here what she had been longing for. Mr. Irons took for his text Jer. 2:13: “For My people have committed two evils; they have forsaken Me, the Fountain of living waters, and have hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water.” “There,” she said, “I heard the first Gospel sermon; and it was the most blessed news to me I had ever heard; it was entirely new. Oh, what a treasure I had found! Oh, it was indeed good news! ‘Oh,’ I said, ‘the sweetness and the freeness of this great salvation for ruined, lost, perishing sinners.’ I felt almost in a new world. It was indeed the Gospel to me. When I went to Mr. Fletcher’s the next Sunday, oh, dear me! what empty things they appeared to what I had just heard. I went again to Jewin-crescent, and heard with just as much pleasure—in fact I could scarcely wait for the next week to come. The word of the Lord by that dear man was precious to me in those days. I made inquiry and found that Mr. Irons’ own chapel was at Camberwell-grove, so I set out the next Sunday in search of it, and l scarcely felt the ground although so many miles.” The first sermon she heard Mr. Irons preach from at the Grove was from Ezek. 34:31: “And ye, My flock, the flock of My pasture, are men, and I am your God, saith the Lord God.” She said, “My very soul leaped for joy. Old things had passed away, and all things had become new.” She said, “I soon left Mr. Fletcher’s, to return no more. I persuaded my brother to go and hear Mr. I. And he persuaded his friend (the young man named before). They heard him very well, but not as I did. I heard him just as well as ever. I was perfectly satisfied with this most blessed Gospel feast. Next, I persuaded my sister (the late Mrs. Field) and poor Kitty to go. They both became in love with it, and my sister was much blessed under Mr. Irons’ ministry. The sweetness and power of the Gospel did not at all diminish to me. I used to walk twice each Sunday from Tower-hill to Camberwell-grove; neither distance nor weather prevented. I felt in such haste to be there that my feet seemed to bound over the road, and my heart after the Beloved of my soul. On one occasion, Mr. Irons preached from Ezek. 36:27: ‘Thus saith the Lord God, I do not this for your sakes, O house of Israel, but for Mine holy Name’s sake.’ I saw such safety in this salvation wrought out and finished by Himself for poor sinners, that my very soul did indeed rejoice in hope. I said within myself, ‘It is for His sake; yes, for His sake.’ How sure it is, then! Oh, the Gospel and the promises! ‘’What rich fare!’ What beauty I then saw in Him, the Founder of’ the feast! And 

‘Not an if to foul the stream,

Or peradventure there.’

The young man of whom I spoke did not at this time hear as I did. The doctrine of election tried him. He said he did not like it called by that name, but would rather it should be called ‘everlasting love.’ That softened it a little, but it still tried him very much, until it was given him to understand it by feeling he was one of the elect. He was brought to feel what a guilty sinner he was in the sight of God, and his pardon sealed home. He kneeled down in his little room (as was his custom) to beg for the pardon of his sin, and the Lord appeared and sweetly sealed home upon his heart these words: ‘The blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanseth us from all sin.’ On account of this sweet deliverance, that little room became so sacred that he dreaded to leave it. He now rejoiced in the doctrine of election, feeling how safe it kept him, and saw it shine like a light all through the Bible. One morning after hearing so sweetly, the savour so rested on my spirit that, as I walked across Peckham-fields, being quite alone, I felt constrained to sing those lines of Dr. Watts:—

“My willing soul would stay

In such a frame as this,

And sit and sing herself away

To everlasting bliss.”

And now she is there with her beloved Lord, beholding Him without a veil. They all joined Mr. Irons’ Church, and for many years found a settled rest. Mother and the young man (as named before) now became so united in spirit that at length they were married. Some years after she found the distance too far to attend constantly, and hearing of a Mr. Francis, of Snow’s-fields, she occasionally went there, and, after a time, hearing Mr. F. almost as well as Mr. I., she left the Grove and joined Mr. Francis’ Church. The Lord led her to see baptism as a command of her Lord, and as she had received Christ Jesus the Lord, so she was enabled to walk in Him. Here she was nourished by the simple preaching of the Gospel for many years, until, through the infirmities of old age, he ceased preaching. After the death of Mr. Francis, she was led in the providence of God to Crosby-row, where she heard C. W. Banks. Under his ministry, she was led much deeper into the mysteries of her own corrupt nature, and had much deeper views of the Gospel. For the first nine months of hearing Mr. C. W. B., she was greatly feasted and instructed, which so endeared Mr. B. to her soul, in real union, that she would have given anything and everything for him. I have heard her express herself so with regard to Mr. B. many times. She cast in her lot with the Church at Crosby-row. Here her growth in grace was very visible; her one desire was to know more and more of Jesus Christ and Him crucified. Feeling very desirous one morning before going to chapel of really feeding upon the Lord Jesus Christ, she begged that she might ”eat His flesh and drink His blood.” Mr. B. took for his text Job 11:17, 18: “And thine age shall be clearer than the noonday; thou shalt shine forth, thou shalt be as the morning. And thou shalt be secure, because there is hope; yea, thou shalt dig about thee, and take thy rest in safety.” Under this sermon the Lord saw fit to try her faith and hope, and she said, “Here I lost my hope, and down I fell, for I felt I had never been under the law; therefore the Gospel would not benefit me; and I feared I had trampled on the blood, and now there remained no more sacrifice for sin. I fell down, and feared there was none to help.” She continued in this deep distress for some months. Now and then she got a little help, but not the deliverance she wanted. She still went to hear Mr. B. at every opportunity of his preaching. One evening she got a little reviving in her bondage. Mr. Banks said, “Has Esther been into the King?” Her answer to herself was, “Yes, that she has.” He then took for his text Ruth 3:18: “Then said she, Sit still, my daughter, until thou know how the matter will fall, for the man will not be in rest until he have finished the thing this day.” Here she gained a little extra help, but not the deliverance she sought. She said, “While in this state I learned more of my ruined state by nature, and what a sinful heart I had. My enemies are those of my own house. If any one had told me some years ago that my nature was enmity itself against God as I now feel it, I could not have believed them; but I am now proving it is so. She sank lower and lower in her feelings; almost got into despair. At last the extremity came. After going to bed, and lying some hours in this distracted state, she got up and came into my bed-room in the greatest distress, crying out, “Oh! what shall I do? I am sinking into despair. I feel sinking into hell;” and death seemed stamped upon her face. I shall never forget it. She said, “Oh I do get up and find that hymn that begins with,—

“Encompassed with clouds of distress.”

I soon found it, and read it through to her. It was most descriptive of her case. By this hymn as a means, the Lord stretched forth His hand and caught her, and blessed her there, making good His Holy Word to her:—“The eternal God is thy Refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.” She returned to her bed quietly, and had a refreshing sleep. When she awoke, she found her trouble gone, and the Lord sent these words with Divine power into her soul: “Your life is hid with Christ in God.” Here she feasted, and took a safe standing upon the Rock of eternal ages. The Lord held most blessed communion with her spirit, and she became familiar with Him, and, by a living faith, made a sweet and blessed use of Him. While He sweetly showed Himself and talked to her, she answered Him and said, “Let my Beloved come into His garden, and eat His own most pleasant fruits.” She was filled with joy and peace in believing. This was the deliverance she had been waiting for. She walked here for some time in the light of His countenance, and the sweet enjoyment of many portions of the Word; and such sweet promises were made to her by her precious Lord as especially suited her case. She was, at this time, much alone during the day, so that she could the more be entertained and comforted. She said she wanted no other company than to 

“Sit alone from day to day,

And converse with her Lord.”

I have not mentioned much about her natural and family trials, although these, as you know, were deep beyond ordinary; but, my dear brother, your own case comes here so to my mind, that you must forgive me for just adverting to it, as both father and mother were so deeply engaged in it. They were constantly taking their children to a throne of grace, that they might (if the Lord will) obtain mercy, and you especially were, at this time, laid with great, weight upon father’s and mother’s minds. He prayed, saying, “Lord, do stop him from pursuing the course of’ this world, and call him by grace, even though he should be laid upon a bed of affliction.” Soon after this the cholera broke out, and well you remember it, don’t you? You were seized with it, and we all thought you were dying without hope. Oh, how their poor hearts were wrung with grief! and mother said, “Father, you know what you asked.” He answered, “Ah I do indeed.” And they both besieged the throne of mercy, and came off conquerors; and you remember better than I do, when mother kneeled down by your bed-side, and poured out her heart’s desires. The Lord heard and answered, “and breathed the breath of life into your soul, and you sent forth your first real cry in these words: “Oh, I wish I were a Christian!” Ah! She travailed in birth twice for you, and well I know that path. Then you were brought into a sharp conflict, and severe distress of soul, but the Lord delivered you, to the rejoicing of their hearts. They have indeed given us good council. Well, our dear mother walked for a considerable time after this in the sweet enjoyments of Gospel peace, still feeding under Mr. Banks’ ministry.

The next trouble was of a different kind. The Lord took her husband home to Himself; but in this she was greatly supported, she “Was so sure of his salvation, chosen of God and precious. He departed in perfect peace, and now they are both eternally safe and happy. In her widowed state she was obliged from necessity to live upon the Lord for everything. She said, “In former days I could not ask the Lord for temporal things, but now I am obliged, from necessity, to ask for all things; but I can leave all these things quietly for Him to manage. I have engaged Him to be my Husband now.” Oh, that the Lord would fill our hearts with gratitude to Himself for giving us such real godly parents. They have prayed for us and brought us up in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Soon after her husband’s death the Lord saw fit to bring a very heavy affliction upon her. She was taken with severe pains in her eyes, and in three months totally lost all sight. This, you know, she had to endure for twenty years, and we were witnesses of the sore trial. She begged hard of the Lord to restore to her her sight; but the answer she received from Him was, “I will guide thee with Mine eye;” from that time she feared it would not be restored.” She had one little daughter, who has been with her through it all, and Mr. Banks used to say, “Ah! Mrs. Burn, she was born on purpose to be a nurse to you;” and they have sighed und cried together many times, and I hope they will rejoice together in eternity. Although her path for the last twenty years was indeed a very solitary one, yet she had many seasonable helps, both in providence and grace. I dare say you remember how she desired to be enabled to thread her needles herself. She asked the Lord this favour and He granted it, for she could thread the smallest needles with ease, and was able to work well. This circumstance wonderfully strengthened her faith in the Lord for many other things. She much desired, if she could but leave her natural sight, that the eyes of her understanding might be illuminated. She said, “Oh, if I could but see His beauty as I have seen it in the sanctuary, I would not mind the loss of my eyes; but ever since I lost them nearly all things are beclouded. Ah! what is the worst part, the cloud is over Him that I cannot see Him. Oh! Why does He so conceal Himself when He knows how I want Him.” A very dear friend, by the name of Parker, took a great interest in her; he was a deacon and clerk of Mr. Banks’ Church, and used constantly to visit her; and, on one occasion, soon after she lost her sight, he asked her if she felt at liberty to kneel down with him and beg of the Lord to restore her sight. She said, “Well, we must submit it to His will for my natural sight; I feel more at liberty to ask for more spiritual sight, and if that is granted I could bear the other better.” But Mr. Parker felt constrained to ask for both, so they kneeled down, and the plea was, His own word, “If two of you agree on earth, as touching anything ye shall ask, it shall be done for you of My Father which is in heaven.” This rather tried her faith, not receiving such an answer as she desired: however, Mr. Packer continued a constant friend, read and prayed with her, and he said that oftentimes he had more enjoyment with her than in the Lord’s house; he would often call in to tell her how precious the Word had been to him. They both loved the Lord very much, and sometimes they seemed so full that both wanted to talk of Him at once. She said that one morning Mr. Packer came in to see her, and brought these words to her (which did her real good), “And blessed is he whosoever shall not be offended in Me.” He said, “You are not offended in Him, are you?” She said, “Well, I don’t know, Mr. Packer, sometimes I fear I am offended because I can’t find Hirn; but I hope not with Him.” “No, no,” he said,”would you not be pleased to see Him? bless His precious Name, I know you would. Dost mind the place, the spot of land where Jesus did thee meet?” She said, “Ah! I do indeed;” and he said, “I will see you again and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you.” These visits greatly refreshed her spirits. A prayer-meeting used to be held at her house, which she often referred to with pleasure. She would quite lay herself out for the Gospel and the Lord’s people, frequently beyond her circumstances; but the Lord gave her a disciple’s reward. But whatever she was in the best sense, she was only what grace made her. Well, she had to lose her friend, Mr. Packer, which was a great loss to her; the Lord took him home suddenly, he entered heaven by prayer with these words, “Rock of Ages, shelter me.” She used to visit us three or four times a year and stay some weeks together, and during these times she used to go with us to hear a good man by the name of Wanstall, who was to her so much like the late Mr. Geo. Francis in his preaching that she longed for the time to come to hear him. While staying with us, one Sunday morning she awoke with the word ”little” on her mind, and presently the word came. “A little one shall become a thousand,” she said, “it is all little together. I will go to the ‘little chapel’ (as we used to call it), and as no one else can take me I will trust myself with little Robert” (meaning my little son, who was only six years old). I felt afraid to let them go, but she did not fear, so they went, and Mr. Wanstall took his text from Is. 11:6-8: “And a little child shall lead them,” &c. He was lead to speak nicely to her case. Of the rest, of the little sucking child, &c., which so fitted into her experience that she was quite raided up, on the way home she talked so to my little boy and he to her, that she felt an especial love to the child. And sometimes I hope that the “seed,” though buried long in “dust,” in due time will spring up. She was very adapted to speak to children, so desirous was she to recommend the Saviour to them, and all who felt a need of Him; yes, and to others who did not, if opportunity offered. Oh, how she tried to comfort our dear Lizzie by telling her, “those feeble desires, those wishes so weak,” &c., and I believe she was a good help to her. She heard Mr. Wanstall, too, so well from “He brought me into His banqueting-house, and His banner over me was love.” He was led in this sermon so to trace out her experience that she never forgot it. On one occasion she spoke to Mr. W., after hearing him very well, and said, “Oh, Mr. W., the enemy has been trying hard to get me off this ‘Rock’ for years, and sometimes I am afraid he will.” Mr. W. said, “It is the enemy’s work to try to get you off; but it is Christ’s work to keep you on.” More or less at times, after losing her eight, she suffered from great nervous depression, and would say, “If I don’t get light within, it is all darkness, and sometimes I fear my heart frets against the Lord in this great affliction.” She spoke of that text in Job, “Thou art become cruel to me.” She said she was glad these things did not escape her lips. Her sleep at times would go from her for several nights together, and at these times she feared she should lose her senses; but she was at these times wonderfully supported, and sometimes the Lord sweetly appeared, and she would go off to sleep as calmly as a little child. She would relate to us at times some of the texts that had been applied to her heart; one was, “I will bruise Satan under your feet shortly.” At another time, when feeling tried concerning the Father’s love, and being afraid she only understood the Son, these words were powerfully applied, “The Father Himself loveth you, and ye need not that any man teach you, but as the same anointing all things;” and “Again I will build thee, and thou shalt be built; O virgin daughter of Israel, thou shalt again be adorned with thy tabrets and go forth in the dances of them that make merry.” Then she would at times sink very low and say, “Oh, it was all right before I lost my sight, I had all then; I get but little now; I am so different to the Lord’s people generally, for when they are in affliction they are often greatly comforted, but I go mourning without the sun, saying, ‘When wilt Thou comfort me; oh, Lord, how long, how long? Wherefore hidest Thou Thyself in times of trouble?'” Oh, when the Lord spoke to Job, how soon he dropped into the right place and abhorred himself in dust and ashes. In these solitary spots the Lord would frequently answer her by Scripture, and say, “Ye have not yet resisted unto blood striving against sin;” “And though He were a Son, yet learned He obedience by the things which He suffered;” also, “Consider Him that endured such contradiction of sinners against Himself, lest ye be weary and faint in your minds.” She much desired, above all, to have fellowship with Him in His sufferings; and that hymn of Mr. Hart’s, called “The Wish,” was one of her especial favourites. It begins,—

“If dust and ashes might presume,

Great God, to talk with Thee;”

and

“The single boon I would entreat,

Is to be led by Thee.

To gaze upon Thy bloody sweat

In sad Gethsemane.”

Ah! she said,—

“For this one favour oft I sought.”

A few years back she told me that those words in Matt. 26:29 were spoken to, and impressed upon her mind: “But I say unto you, I will not drink henceforth of this fruit of the vine, until that day when I will drink it new with you in My Father’s kingdom.” She said, “From this I am afraid I shall not have much more real enjoyment here according to these words.” I replied, “You may be mistaken;” but she was not, for she never rose so high in enjoyment after. Nevertheless, she was firmly fixed on the Rock of ages. She has often told me she could never have understood the dealings of the Lord to her soul, but for Mr. Newton’s hymn, beginning,—

“I asked the Lord that I might grow

In faith, and love, and every grace.”

Sometimes she was afraid she had not been convinced deeply enough of sin; but would say, “I desire to be saved with the same salvation as the dying thief.” At other times she feared the blood had not been applied, and said, “I wish the word I had given me had been, ‘The blood of Jesus Christ cleanseth from all sin;’ or ‘Thy sins are forgiven thee.'” But she was answered with these words, ”Now ye are clean through the word I have spoken unto you.” She was with us once at Zoar chapel, hearing Mr. Hull, and this matter was then quite cleared up under the sermon (Heb. 13:20): “Now the God of peace that brought again our Lord Jesus from the dead, that Great Shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant.” It seemed explained to her mind, that the virtue of the blood came through the Word with Divine power into her soul, and she had peace with God through faith. He spake so much of that part, “Through the blood of the covenant,” and she seemed to understand that which had been a mystery to her for years. She greatly loved the Psalms, saying, ”There are so many petitions there,” and she so often read them to herself, for the Lord had given her energy to read by M. Moon’s system of raised letters. She complained of late that she felt so very ignorant. But she would say, “What a mercy He has promised to give His Holy Spirit to those who ask Him, and that He has promised to guide into all truth. I do like that hymn beginning,—

“‘Gracious God, Thy children keep,

Jesus, guide Thy silly sheep,’

that just suits me.” Once, lately, while reading that portion, ‘Therefore I say unto you, Whatsoever things ye desire when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them,” she had a light shed upon this passage, and would often refer to it, saying, “Whatsoever things ye desire,” &c. 

She was taken ill of jaundice on April 26, and gradually sank, after three weeks’ prostration. Soon after she was taken ill her daughter Lizzie said, “Do you think you shall get better?” She replied, “I cannot tell death has followed me for weeks.” Her daughter-in-law at this time said to her, “How do you feel in your mind, comfortable?” She said, “No, not very.” “Have you any fear of death.” “No, no particular fear. 

“‘His love in times past,

Forbids me to think,

He’ll leave me at last,

In trouble to sink.”

This she repeated many times. My husband replied to her, “Ah! that’s right mother, hold fast to His girdle; you know He says, and its His own word, ‘Call upon Me in the day of trouble.'” “Yes,” she said, “I can’t let that go.” I read to her one day during her last illness the heading of a chapter in Solomon’s Song, “The Church prayeth to be made fit for His presence.” I said, “That is just what we want, don’t we?” She raised her hand, and said, “Oh, dear me, yes.” Then I read the words, “Let my Beloved come into His garden,” &c. “Oh,” she said, “well I remember that time (meaning the night before her great deliverance) that time of spiritual labour; no natural ones, bad as they have been, were ever like that.” Soon after she asked me if I could remember the hymn ending,—

“Christ is the treasure I desire.”

I repeated the first verse. She said, “I don’t think I shall die yet, because the Lord gave me that promise: ‘I will extend peace to her like a river,’ and I have not had it like a river yet. When that came to me I said, When, Lord? and He said, ‘I the Lord will hasten it in His time.'” I replied, ”If you do not have it like a river here you will have it above, that’s quite certain.” “Yes,” she said, “‘what thou knowest not now thou shalt know hereafter.'” Once she said, after passing through a great deal of pain of body, “Mercy mixed.” Soon after she went into a nice sleep, and as I watched her I saw her smile. When she awoke, I asked her if she had had a nice dream; she said, “Yes, I dreamed I was hearing Mr. Irons.” She had for many years been in great bondage through fear of death; but it was all removed now. She spoke of Mr. Francis preaching from, “The Lord commanded Moses to make a fiery serpent, and set it upon a pole, and every one that was bitten, when he looked upon it, lived.” “Ah!” she said, “he did preach the Gospel from that, it was only to look; and he said, ‘No doubt there were many a good way off who could not get so full a sight of the serpent as those who were nearer; but if they only looked towards it they lived.'” This seemed to encourage her in her dying circumstances, that if the soul only looked towards the Lord Jesus Christ it should be saved.

Mr. Banks, hearing of her illness, called to see her about five or six days before her death. She was indeed glad to hear his voice, and said how she had longed to see him once more. She was quite refreshed by his visit and what he said. He spoke to her upon the words, “The Strength of Israel will not lie;” this was so to the purpose that she was quite raised up in her feelings.

She got weaker and weaker each day, and as she drew near the end I said, “Has He come yet?” she shook her head. I said, “Ah, well! You can say, ‘Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly?” She said, “Yes, yes.” About this time you said, “Well, mother, you still feel very dark in your mind;” she said, “Yes, very;” and you said again, “Well, but you know it must be all right, He is bound to appear before long;” she said, “Oh, yes, I know that by what He has told me.” The sermon you read to her of Mr. Hazelton’s, and which you said you hoped would be published—I mean that one,” His Way is in the Sea, His Path is in the Mighty Waters, and His Footsteps are not Known”—was very much good to her. About two days after this she passed away from time into eternity (May 15), firmly resting upon her Lord and speaking well of His Name up to the last. The Lord loved her with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness He drew her to Himself from childhood to old age. The Author and Finisher of faith gave her enough faith to hang to the girdle of His faithfulness to the end, and now we are sure “She is bathing her soul in seas of heavenly bliss,” where “not a wave of trouble rolls across her peaceful breast.”

And now unto Him who hath loved us and washed us from our sins in His own blood, to Him be all the glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.

I have done all I could to collect the matter together, and if the Lord has any purpose to fulfil by the fragment, so that it may get honour to Him, we shall be satisfied; shall we not?

Your affectionate sister,

MARY ANN POUNDS

[We have read the foregoing memoir with feelings of deep sympathy. We never knew a more devoted, decided, or distressed saint in all our life. We believe this account will be a blessing to many of the Lord’s people, and we trust it will be published separately in due time.—Charles Waters Banks]